“We have given them enough words,” was what a colleague said before the entry rolled out. Our last write-up on Balenciaga’s outrageous and very distasteful designs was in April, and just when we thought the high-fashion label was finally done-and-dusted with their (then and now) eye-roll worthy creations — guess what — they. are. back. Oh good lord.
Well, thank you B, for blessing us with a good two months worth of peace. Who knew you were going to come back with an even bigger bang — this time round, with a new release that rendered the Thailand plastic bags, the notorious blanket bag and the overpriced Ikea one as… mild design choices?
Here, take a peek at their newest product, a leather-clad shopping bag. And yes, design inspo couldn’t get any more literal, because this apparently very well thought-out design looks just like — you said it — a shopper’s paper bag. Yup, right down to the damn fold at the base of the carryall. For something that you can possibly get for free — our Italian best friend is retailing it at €995.
A side-by-side comparison that shows uncanny resemblance.
We mean, in true auntie-speak, “branded” paper bags are the kinds that we opt for whenever you need to carry out stuff that won’t fit into our everyday bags. They just look better, and more presentable; compare that to a flimsy Fairprice plastic carrier and you’ll see where we’re coming from. Now you don’t even have to ever worry about not having spare paper bags at home! If you ever felt that you’ll somehow hurt your ego purchasing a $5 branded paper bag from Carousell (yep, that suddenly sounded normal), simply splurge on a paper bag lookalike and you’ll never have to feel conscious when shuffling ‘round town!
A screenshot from colette.fr.
But wait — you’ll have to get in line should you want to have your hands on your very own Balenciaga Shopping Bag. It’s currently OOS on colette.fr, and that means folks, ignorant ones, actually bought it, and right into it. That’s actually good news though, because we, sincerely, are going to judge anyone strutting down the streets with it. Bad reps happen for a reason B — one mockery on consumerism is cute, anything else is just trying too hard. (P.S. In case you weren’t counting, this is your fourth offence.) We don’t want to have a bad impression on even your classic Blackout City design, okay?
And just to keep things a 101% real, we aren’t even going to go the “buy-if-you-have-the-money” route this time. Because it’s not worth it, so don’t buy it. Full-stop. €995 might not be a lot for the richest of the rich, but we sure can think of a million other things to spend that on instead of this one Shopping Bag.
But, important question before everything else: Will the purchase come in the OG paper shopping bag? That we’re dying to know.
Header Image: @balenciaga IG
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