Oh that’s right, we’re talking about that one lazy formidable friend or sibling who takes dedication to the sloth life to an all new level. Netflix and chill? We say, they have zero chill about it because here they are, pulling an all-nighter, not for work or assignments, but just to watch the entire Stranger Things 2 in one sitting. You might think they don’t exactly have their priorities in check, but so what if their entire exercise regime involves walking to the fridge and back, all for the sake of a midnight snack refuel? You gotta admire their tenacity here. As long as they’ve got a comfortable couch/bed, and some chips in tow, they’re happy. Except if you throw a spoiler in their face!
Well, at least you know they’re the most reliable people to seek out when you need someone to geek out over the latest episode of whatever hit television series there is — heck, they might even be running the Reddit thread — so for that and more, quit the nagging, give in, and show some love to the couch potato.
1. Star Wars Gym Pack, US$150 to US$200, available via onnit.com
Star Wars fans, there are a lot more ways to get fit than just swinging around a toy lightsaber. We know, we know. What could be more exciting than that, right? Well, feast your eyes on this: fitness company Onnit has a range of Star Wars-inspired gear that’ll take your exercise regime to a new level, with the power of the force to boot.
2. Samsung POWERbot™ Star Wars Special Edition Robot Vacuum Cleaner, $949, available at major electronics stores
No one has time to clean the house! Not when they’ve got a whole list of TV shows on their to-watch lists. So, how a robot that does all the sweeping for them, so they can get back to hitting the ‘next’ button on their never-ending binge watch? Even better when it’s in the ultimate geek form, so they can feel like they’re using the Force on their household chores.
3. Pyramid iPad or Tablet Cushion, $56.37, available at HardToFind.com.au
All couches already have cushions, but do all iPads have their own cushion? The couch potato would appreciate this iPad cushion – they won’t feel a thing since it’s so lightweight and they can rest their iPad on it while lounging around at home.
4. OSIM uCozy 3D Massager, $199 (now @ $129), available at OSIM stores, and osim.com
Your friend must’ve been seated on the couch for a reallyyy long time, and despite the hours of inactivity, they could definitely do with this — a lightweight and handy massager that provides a kneading massage and soothing warmth to ease any neck, shoulders or back aches. Just know that you’re now enabling them to spend an even longer time on that couch.
5. Riverdale Letterman Jacket, US$198, available online at bettyandveronica.com
Whether you like the morbid take on Archie’s Comics or not, you can’t deny that the letterman jacket is pretty classic. With oversized pink leather sleeves, this will make you feel like a part of Archie’s gang when you’re chilling with your squad. So hey, total Riverdale vibes — even if you don’t like the show out of respect to the comics.
6. Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle, £29.99, available at firebox.com
Have you seen anything this totally tubular? Any rightful Netflix binge-r is well into Stranger Things, as well as the show’s best bitchin’ chick on the crew, Eleven. So we’d gladly empty our wallets, you know, upside down, just to own this — a ceramic ornament that sees that iconic nosebleed as the candle undergoes its own meltdown. No promises that this keeps away those demogorgons though.
7. Jon Snow-Inspired Backpack, US$44.99, available at thinkgeek.com
His watch may have ended, but can we really imagine our broody, plucky hero without his black cloaks and Stark furs (yes, despite the fire in his bones)? In the same way, take the black with this very Crow-like backpack that sees a direwolf imprint and the Night’s Watch Oath under the flap — all so you can feel smug and shout ‘you know nothin’!” at all those poor people who still haven’t caught Game of Thrones.
8. Luckies Smartphone Projector 2.0, $45, available at Naiise stores and naiise.com
An ideal gift for the phone-obsessed with a lazy approach to life, this nifty little smartphone projector magnifies your phone screen by up to 8 times, giving you a mini home cinema experience anytime, anywhere. This lightweight cardboard gadget also comes fully assembled with an adjustable focus, so go ahead and gather your friends for a Netflix binge in the comfort of your own bedroom.
9. Rick And Morty Christmas Jumper,£29.99, available at grindstore.com
You know it — time to get riggity riggity wrecked at all your festive parties with this classic ugly Christmas sweater that features everyone’s favourite time space-transcending duo from the hit television series. Why, Rick and Morty, duh (chime in all the cool folks). Plus the loose fit means you can stuff yourself – burp – silly at the season of elaborate feasts. Get schwifty indeed!
10. Luckies Smartphone Magnifier, $30, available at amazon.com
Smartphones have changed the way we digest content. And that includes movies, your favourite television series, and that ridiculous viral clip on Facebook. But somehow, watching them on a larger screen is still more satisfying, so why not enlarge whatever is showing on your smartphone?
11. Garrett Popcorn Nutcracker Trio Tins, $36, available at Garrett Popcorn stores
This festive set of limited edition Nutcracker Trio Tins from Garrett Popcorn feature whimsical fairytale characters: a snowman, a red fox, and a gallant nutcracker soldier. Your choice of popcorn will make it a personalised gift – or you could always try the super indulgent Dark Chocolate CaramelCrisp.
12. World’s Smallest Vacuum, $33.90, available at Funtime Gifts, Naiise stores and online at naiise.com
If you can’t even get up to get a mug of beer, we probably shouldn’t expect you to clean up after yourself (vacuums are heavy, we get it). This hand-sized vacuum is perfect for clearing up those annoying little crumbs from your snacks without having to move your ass.
Notice the “WIN” labels? We’re giving away all these items in our massive holiday gift guide GIVEAWAY — head over to our Facebook page and Instagram page daily to take part in our contests.
More of NYLON’s Ultimate Holiday Gift Guides, coming soon — stay tuned! Click here to see our full list of gift guides.
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