We know what you’re thinking – sounds like another tacky Buzzfeed article. And you’re right; we even made it a random prime number so it would kind of stick annoyingly in your head. But in all seriousness, cast aside your snark and dig out your credit card, because we officially found the most ridiculous must-have items on the Internet. And we’re buying ‘em.
1. This nutritious cushion
Not just any regular cabbage, mind you. We took the liberty of googling for you – Chinese cabbage, also known as “Napa cabbage”, contains fewer calories per 100g of regular cabbage, plus a higher percentage of Vitamin A. Be sure to mull that over as you prop it under your chin for a midday nap at your desk.
2. And this less nutritious one
If you thought the Chinese cabbage was weird, get a load of this! Your inner Singapore should be squealing as loudly as ours is right now – this auspicious ang ku kueh cushion will see you through hard times for sure. And even if it doesn’t, are you really going to give up a pillow shaped in Singapore’s most famous kueh.
3. This sticky stopper
And while we’re on the topic of kuehs, might as well kit out your entire home in local kuehs. Here’s a Malay favourite, also called Jiu Ceng Gao (nine-layer cake) that someone innovatively realised would make an excellent doorstop.
4. The chance to finally be your primary school hero
If you’ve never landed trusty ol’ 小明 into a whole lot of sh*t before, you were probably a hardworking primary school student with more imagination than most of us. Otherwise, you’ll recognise this legend of a boy for having shoplifted at malls, skipping school, and even causing the occasional house to burn down. And now with this unisex shirt you can actually be badass Little Ming, regardless of whether you’re male or female! Although to be fair, he did help many an old granny cross the road too. What a lad!
BONUS: Couple tee with 小丽 for the ultimate statement.
5. This close encounter in the toilet
Don’t be ridiculous; this is clearly the only way to ever store your toilet paper. Now that we’ve found it you can bet our lavatory lives will change forever. Granted it might be a little creepy when you get up at 3am to answer Nature’s Call, but at least you’ll never feel alone again, no.1 or no.2.
6. This… furry friend
Not just for Guardians of the Galaxy fans, believe it or not this little guy is actually big enough to hold your iPad 2. He’s clearly out of this world. Just remember not to watch Shutter after you’ve bought this.
And obviously, we saved the best for last.
7. This colossal addition to all your future Christmas cards
SIGN. US. UP.
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